Perfect
by AquilaTempestas
Summary: I'm sorry I can't be perfect.


**Disclaimer**

The rights to Beyblade belong to Takao Aoki. Song lyrics belong to 'Perfect' by Simple Plan.

**Title**

Perfect

**Summary**

I'm sorry I can't be perfect.

.

_Hey Dad look at me__  
__Think back and talk to me__  
__Did I grow up according to plan?__  
__And do you think I'm wasting my time doing things I wanna do?__  
__But it hurts when you disapprove all along_

I can't understand it; no matter how hard I try I always end up failing. When I bring it up with my friends and even my parents, their answer is the same: try harder. Can't they see I'm trying? What exactly does 'try harder' mean anyway? Spend more time trying to solve the problem until you break down? No one understands. It seems no one cares. I'm alone. I'm lost. I'm a failure.

_And now I try hard to make it__  
__I just want to make you proud__  
__I'm never gonna be good enough for you__  
__I can't pretend that I'm alright__  
__And you can't change me_

Worthless. I guess that's all I'll ever be to everyone. I'm not the brightest child; I'm not exactly athletic; I lack musical ability; I'm not the most out-going person. What are my talents? I can't answer this because I have no talents. I'm just some poor soul trying to find their place in the world and failing. That's my talent – failing.

_'Cause we lost it all__  
__Nothing lasts forever__  
__I'm sorry I can't be perfect__  
__Now it's just too late and we can't go back__  
__I'm sorry I can't be perfect_

I fail at my job even though it's not really all that difficult. I guess I'm just too much of a fool to master it. I'm failing my first semester at university – should've followed my father's advice and dropped out. It was obvious to my own parents that I'm too much of an idiot to do well at university. But how am I meant to do well in a course I despise?

_I try not to think about the pain I feel inside__  
__Did you know you used to be my hero?__  
__All the days you spent with me__  
__Now seem so far away__  
__And it feels like you don't care anymore_

I've been told that I'm smart, but I scoff at their claims. If I was smart, then why am I failing? Can't they just accept the fact that I can't do this no matter how hard I try. Go and ask for help. Try harder. Create a study plan. I'm sorry, but it's not going to work. You can't force yourself into liking something. I've asked for help and still continue to not understand. Again, what does 'try harder' mean? And as for study plans... it's pretty damn hard to stick to something you don't enjoy. You need motivation and you get that motivation when you're doing something you are passionate about.

_And now I try hard to make it__  
__I just want to make you proud__  
__I'm never gonna be good enough for you__  
__I can't stand another fight__  
__And nothing's alright_

You can't be good at everything, so why do the people insist that I must persevere? How am I supposed to succeed when my own parents have no faith? My own parents even threatened to throw me out of home as a teenager if my grades don't improve. Encouraging parents, right? And they wonder why I'm not happy.

_'Cause we lost it all__  
__Nothing lasts forever__  
__I'm sorry I can't be perfect__  
__Now it's just too late and we can't go back__  
__I'm sorry I can't be perfect_

Of course, I'd never tell them that otherwise they'd think I was some pathetic nutcase. My parents view depression as a sign of weakness; you have no reason to be depressed, they say. You have everything. Hell, even crying is a sign of weakness and shame. I just wish my parents could be happy for me... but that's never going to happen, because whatever I do it will never be good enough.

_Nothing __i__s gonna change the things that you said__  
__And nothing's gonna make this right again__  
__Please don't turn your back__  
__I can't believe it's hard just to talk to you__  
__But you don't understand_

There are days I just wish I was someone else, living in different family. I wish I had parents who were supportive and encouraging no matter what my failures were. Not parents who threaten you, parents who discourage you and parents who don't believe. I wish there was someone out there who actually cared, someone who believed in me despite my apparent flaws. But it's not going to happen. I guess I'll always be alone; live and die alone.

_'Cause we lost it all__  
__Nothing lasts forever__  
__I'm sorry I can't be perfect__  
__Now it's just too late and we can't go back__  
__I'm sorry I can't be perfect___

_'Cause we lost it all__  
__Nothing lasts forever__  
__I'm sorry I can't be perfect__  
__Now it's just too late and we can't go back__  
__I'm sorry I can't be perfect_

_._

Yeah it might seem whiny, but different things trigger different people. What doesn't hurt you hurts someone else.


End file.
